The Simpsons Movie

In my lifetime, I've only been die-hard enough to see two movies on opening day—and as it so happens, they were both movies that jumped from a TV series to the big screen. The first was X-Files: Fight the Future in 1998. The other was The Simpsons Movie, nearly 10 years later. Given the immense popularity of The Simpsons, particularly after gracing the airwaves for 18 years, I actually didn't think I'd be able to make it into a showing on opening night. Indeed, the parking lot at Potomac Yards was rather full when I pulled in—but to my surprise, the ticket line was unexpectedly short. I arrived at the theater at 8:30 p.m., and the 9:25 showing was sold out, so I bought a ticket to the 9:55 showing. So for the next hour, I just hung out at the nearby Barnes & Noble in Potomac Yards . . . but when I returned to the theater and made my way to the auditorium, there was actually a line to get into the auditorium! And don't forget, these are people who've already bought tickets.

But getting in and finding a seat didn't prove to be a problem. And after 15 minutes of PG-rated trailers, the 20th Century Fox logo slowly circled into view, complete with its standard entrance music . . . only Ralph Wiggum stood inside the zero in "20th", singing along to the entrance music! From there we progress to a shot of a spacecraft landing on the moon, and who should emerge from the capsule but our favorite Simpsons cartoon duo, Itchy and Scratchy!!! Naturally, our favorite cartoon mouse (sorry, Mickey!) provides his trademark abuse to our favorite cartoon cat (sorry, Garfield!)—but then we suddenly see Homer stand up and start badmouthing Itchy and Scratchy. At this point, we realize that the Simpson family is actually in a movie theater themselves, watching an Itchy and Scratchy movie (though we're never clued in to whether it's the Itchy and Scratchy movie). Then Homer turns around and shouts to the audience, "Why pay money for something you could watch at home for free???"

With that lovable little jab at itself, we the audience went full steam ahead into The Simpsons Movie! And it was at this point, when the opening credits began to roll (in an ever-so-familiar pattern of Bart writing 100 times on the chalkboard, "I will not download this movie illegally"), that it finally hit me: The Simpsons had made the move to the big screen!!! In those few minutes, as I watched the beefed-up credit sequence play out, the realization of The Simpsons doing a feature film hit me like a runaway train . . . and my awed focus became razor sharp for the next hour and a half.

The first thing I noticed about the movie was the picture quality, in that it was significantly sharper than the TV show ever was. Plus, there was a far greater sense of three-dimensional depth to each scene! I don't know quite how they did it, but it was almost as if they took the movie and put 3-D glasses overtop! Hey, I'm not knocking the results, because it looked wonderful. And as the story opened, somehow it was easy to accept the Simpson family gracing the big screen. I welcomed them with unexpected and surprising ease, quite possibly because they've been on the small screen for so long that they finally deserved this leap upwards.

But anyway, as the story opens (and I must emphasize, there are spoilers from here on in!!!), Lisa is going door to door trying to get people to sign a petition that would prohibit the dumping of garbage in Springfield Lake. Suffice it to say, she gets the door slammed in her face at every turn. But along the way, she meets Colin, a young Irish boy whom she immediately falls for. Back at home, relations between Homer and Bart become strained when Bart, on a dare, skateboards naked from their house to Krusty Burger (and yes, the rumors are true: Bart does a full frontal, though it's very brief). Homer, though, decides not to take the fall, despite the fact that he encouraged Bart—all to avoid a one-hour class on good parenting. But while at Krusty Burger, Homer befriends the pig that was being used for Krusty's commercials . . . and after he takes him home and names him Spider Pig, it becomes clear to Bart that Homer's parental priorities don't lie with him anymore. Thus, he finds fatherly solace in a very unexpected place: Ned Flanders.

Lisa, meanwhile, is successful in stopping all dumping at Springfield Lake, courtesy of a rather nasty trick she played at the town meeting to sway public opinion to her side. But as it turns out, Springfield Lake is so badly polluted that even the littlest addition of filth will turn it into a full-on toxic waste dump. And who better to serve as the straw to break the camel's back than—you guessed it!—Homer Simpson? And how does he do it, you ask? Simple! By dumping a homemade silo full of pig feces into Springfield Lake.

At this point, Springfield Lake becomes a national emergency, and the EPA steps in to resolve this crisis. Leading this team is Russ Cargill, voiced by Albert Brooks A. Brooks, who always advises the president by giving him five minutely-detailed but often violent options to choose from. Please note, though, the president in The Simpsons Movie isn't George W. Nor is it Rainier Wolfcastle. It's the man he parodies: the governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! And President Schwarzenegger orders a massive, impenetrable bubble placed over the town of Springfield . . . and when the townspeople of Springfield discover who's to blame, it's lynching time for the Simpson family!

I've heard a few reviewers decry The Simpsons Movie for being little more than a 90-minute TV episode, but I can't say I agree with their assessment. In fact, I found the movie to be rather daring! It kept to many of the tried-and-true Simpsons motifs, but took them a tad further at just the right moments. Not much, maybe, but enough to satisfy the fans of the show. For example, when Homer is walking through the snowy foothills of Alaska trying to get back to Springfield, he has a vision in which he must have epiphany . . . and in despair, Homer says something that I, as a Simpsons fan, never thought I'd hear him say in a million years, "I don't like myself anymore." Just that single moment of deep humility pushes the character of Homer to a level I've never seen before—to a human being who's actually vulnerable, despite his sloth and inconsiderate views towards his family. Because now he realizes all that he's lost, and what he must do to win it all back—prove once and for all that he's a good man and a good father.

I may be a little biased, me being a fan of the show and all—but you know what? Who cares??? I still give The Simpsons Movie a 9. For a show that's run for 18 seasons, it leapt remarkably well to the big screen, never once losing its edge or freshness. Rather, it was as delicious and fulfilling as a freshly-opened Duff Beer.